Among the consequences of a troubled marriage is low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. It makes going through life tough. Every marriage has had its hiccups, but when they start happening too often, you need to take a closer look.
How many warning signs do you need? There might be red flags right in front of you, but you’re too oblivious or too busy to notice.
If you want to save your marriage, the first step is picking up on the warning signs and taking measures with your spouse to work on them.
1. No respect for privacy
Your spouse might be checking your texts and phone messages behind your back or demanding you give them access. They might log into your social media using your username and password to track your activity. This is a sign of mistrust bordering on emotional abuse.
2. They don’t share with you
When something happens at their workplace, your children, or their plans in general, you should be among the first to know. This isn’t the case. Instead, they make unilateral decisions or share information with everyone but you.
When it happens, you feel betrayed. You might wonder what you did to deserve their distrust.
3. There is emotional infidelity
You don’t have to have sex with someone else to be unfaithful. Becoming emotionally involved with another person is a form of infidelity. Sharing intimate secrets and spending a lot of time with someone else are forms of micro cheating. Such behavior could be a flag that you’re going into dangerous territory that will harm your marriage. You’ll also end up lying to your spouse and might get caught eventually.
On the other hand, even actual cheating isn’t a sure sign a marriage will end.
4. They can’t keep a job
Both spouses should be gainfully employed unless you’ve explicitly agreed that one of you will be the homemaker. It usually takes more than one income to keep a household running, so you both need to find jobs and keep them. If your spouse isn’t making this effort, it’s a very bad sign.
5. Lying about money
Money is among the most common reasons for divorce. Usually, only one person manages the household budget and makes sure the bills are paid on time. However, the other person should be able to access that information when needed.
Someone can start lying about money for one of a number of reasons: they have become addicted to gambling, shopping, etc. Concealing money-related issues can result in extreme pressure on a marriage, not to mention having to deal with feelings of rage, betrayal, and sadness.
6. They always threaten divorce
If they’re threatening divorce or bringing it up at the first hint of an argument, they are letting you know they are unhappy. Usually, they are also manipulating you. It can mean their aptitude to resolve conflict leaves something to be desired.
7. Poor choice of friends
Your old high school or college buddies were lots of fun at the time, but things have changed. Some of them just don’t get along with your spouse. Some friends can be toxic to a marriage, especially if they are still single.
Ending a friendship can feel painful and breed resentment. It’s also a problem when a spouse chooses to hang out with people the other spouse can’t stand.
8. You ignore your intuition
Actively ignoring your intuition can only go on for so long. It will keep nagging at you. Don’t ignore your marital relationship on this level.
9. You feel controlled
When you don’t have a say or are ignored on a regular basis, you feel resentful. Financial issues are usually one of the main ways to control someone.
10. You ignored a deal-breaker
Deal breakers that you shouldn’t have ignored are important issues like where to live, whether or not to have children, and different ways of viewing money. Eventually, they come back to challenge a marriage.